What is dating for, anyway? Why do so many teens and even tweens concern themselves with relationships?
Recently, a friend of mine's boyfriend broke up with her. I can't even begin to describe to you how brokenhearted she was... Seeing her go through that made me ask myself this question: "What is dating for?"
I myself have never dated. Nor do I intend to while I am still too young to even think about marriage. To me, dating is something that should be done when one is making a serious commitment in finding their lifelong soul-mate. So why do teens/tweens fuss over having boyfriends and girlfriends when they should just be enjoying what little time they have left just being their age? It seems a little in vain to me. What are the chances that their childhood boyfriends/girlfriends are going to be the ones they're going to marry? Especially when they're dating people who do not hold the same beliefs as them...
Dating someone who believes differently than you is just asking for trouble.
Dating when you're so young is a byproduct of hormones, not love. Research says that the human mind is actually not fully mature until the body has reached its 22nd year. Someone so young cannot possibly know what true love is. What they feel is hormonal attraction.
Now, I don't pretend to know everything about dating and love and all that... but I do know what I have been trained up and taught in, what the Bible says, what God says, what my parents say, and what I know in my heart is true.
Also, why do teens not listen to those who have been placed in authority over them: pastors, parents, teachers? Why do they decide that they know better and should be able to date whoever they want? After all, they are wise and they do know what true love is, right?
What is dating for? Well, I think that it's the last step you take before you decide that someone is the one with whom you will spend the rest of your life. Teens/tweens can't marry.
Why date?
------------------------
Well, thanks for listening to my rambling and thoughts... Feel free to comment back!
God bless,
Brian
Yes yes yes! I totally agree with you. I think that we teens tend to rebel because we want to be mature because we're in that age when we don't know whether to be kiddish (which teens would hate being called) or adultish (which we want to be). A lot of the time, I feel like dating is like a game to teenagers, like it's playing "marriage". Get together, break up, and again. A reason why we date is because our spirit is really searching for God, but our flesh sees a guy (or a maiden) and thinks, "That's who I need." We try to fill our spirit's need for love with worldly imitations of love.
ReplyDeleteVery well put! I totally agree!
DeleteA year ago, I would have totally agreed with you. And I still do think that people who haven't completed two years of high-school don't need to be in romantic relationships. However, I think that older teens can sometimes have the maturity to date other people. For instance, there are guys I respect, admire, find funny, and would generally like to get to know better. By the world's definition, that would be dating. I would never date a guy I couldn't see myself marrying, but there are some guys I know right now, as a teen, that I could see myself marrying in three or four years. It's more then just a 'hormonal attraction' as you put it. These are people who are my genuine friend and brother in Christ.
ReplyDeleteBut I also agree that people, especially girls I think, can seek the fulfillment they should be looking for in God in relationships. Before you even think about entering into some kind of relationship with someone else, you need to make sure you're relationship with God is solid.
Very thought provoking post.
~Sarah Faulkner
www.inklinedwriters.blogspot.com
I do agree that sometimes, depending on the person and what authority figures say, older teens can date. But I don't believe that 13-year-olds should be going out and getting boy/girlfriend after boy/girlfriend. That kind of thinking sets one up to think very little of commitment and faithfulness. How will that portray into their future marriage? Also, every person that you date, you give a little piece of your heart to; and if you date dozens of people, then what's left to give to your future spouse?
DeleteI also think that relationships should start out in friendship before they lead to anything else. Because when you're friends first you get to really know the person.
Very intriguing thoughts! From my own past experiences, I totally agree with you. I made decisions at fifteen that I would never make now that I'm twenty--I've grown so much in the past five years, both in my faith and my outlook on the world. I think that, for the most part, teens--even those very mature for their age--should embrace the wisdom experience brings, and listen to their parents.
ReplyDeleteI attend a Christian university, where the ages range from 17 to 23 or older. There's an obvious gap in the maturity of those attending, but these kids are still mingling and dating. And I've encountered relationships, even on a Christian campus, that should not be. I think there's a bit of pressure on girls, depending where you go, to marry and have children. There's nothing wrong with marrying and having kids, but I think girls--and guys--then get confused. They like someone and assume God must want them to like that person because, of course, it's their duty to marry and have children. They assume that because this is a fellow Christian it should be all right, when really they're jumping in because they want to, and not because God does. They take His Word as an excuse to do what they want, ignoring His timing.
I hope this all makes sense. These are just my thoughts, and like anybody's opinion, I could be totally wrong. :P Thanks for bringing up this topic; it's something we young adults should really be considering. And I admire your determination not to date until you're ready to prepare for marriage. That is true wisdom, and refreshing to see. God bless!
-Beka
Being in certain environments that encourage such kind of dating can make things difficult.
DeleteWell put!
I'm glad I brought up this topic. Not only has it been something that's been weighing on my heart, but it has also (obviously) been something that's been pressed upon the hearts of others. I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!
I agree with you whole-heartedly. If you aren't ready to marry, why waste time on guys in high school who don't even have the maturity level for a real relationship?
ReplyDelete